Your Family, Your Life

As child-free women, we have a chance to explore the nuances of our lives.  We can go into patterns that are affecting us, ones that we adopted from childhood and ones that we learned from our parental figures that affected our sense of self.  We know we have lots we can do, be and discover in our lives, but there can very well be baggage, old beliefs and ways we have inherited that keep us stuck and playing small.  

I believe that everything is about relationship.  Relationship to ourselves, to others, to our body, to our food, to the earth, to our family, our ancestors, and on and on.  We attract people and dynamics in our lives to either resolve something, or grow in some way, even if it is painful.  There is wisdom everywhere, even if we can’t see it right away.    Most lessons go back to self-love, self-acceptance and how to grow in compassion.

For example, I had a habit of attracting male partners who had serious mental health issues.  I wouldn’t even see it coming. But they’d eventually become aggressive and intimidating.  It wasn’t until I really looked at my childhood, that I could finally see my male figures as having mental health issues. The whole time, due to my programming, I thought they had it together and I was the weak one or broken one.  Though I’ve done my own deep therapy and inner work, I couldn’t really see the pattern until I did the "My Family, My Life Package".  I discovered that the men on both sides of the family suffered from depression, and they would take it out on their family members at home, making their wives lose their mental health and sense of stability.   

The women absorbed the hurt, negativity and pain of their male partners.  The men, trapped in the world of having to prove themselves and not being allowed to have emotions, wouldn’t or couldn’t get the help they needed.  It’s only now, in 2017, that there are programs encouraging men to admit their suicidal feelings and thoughts, and own their own depression and emotional discomforts. 

I would say that the root of most domestic abuse stems from men who have felt out of control and powerless so they need to put this onto the most vulnerable and their closest family members. So instead of the women being the broken one, it was really the husbands or fathers behind her that were causing the pain. This is my family pattern and I’m not saying that all of women’s issues are because of abusive men. 

I know that partly one of the reasons I’m child-free is because I wanted to work out these dysfunctional patterns and not get trapped in a bad marriage with having to feed the kids.  I want to be one of the women in my family line that gets a chance at living a life more free of these traditional burdens, where I’m not stuck with being the punching bag for my partner.  Though I know we are all human, and all of us are fragile, I am confident that I won’t get so confused or triggered if a friend or male partner shows signs of serious mental health problems. I will give him the responsibility to go get the help he needs if he starts taking things out on me. Or I will know that it’s time to pack my bags and leave if it becomes abusive.  Fortunately, I won’t have to take care of any kids or negotiate child care or anything of that sort.  This is one of the many freedoms women get to have when they don’t have kids. A freedom I am grateful to have.

I would not have seen it this way, if I didn’t do the “My Family, My Life” Package.  I would have gone into years of therapy trying to get to the root of my low self-esteem, beating myself for being abused. In a matter of 2 sessions, I was able to see everything way more quickly. Then my true work of setting boundaries.

I would love to share this with you so you can have similar breakthroughs in areas that you may not be able to see clearly.  Through a process of working together, you and I can uncover unconscious layers that are affecting how you are relating to friends, family, yourself, money, work, creativity, etc.  In 2 sessions, we will reveal the core issue, in what many say would take 2 years of therapy. It’s not a replacement for therapy.  Rather it gives you the main issue you are dealing with, a new perspective or way of seeing it, and the wisdom required to break any cycles. Then you can take it to your therapist and really do the work to release it.

If this interests you, you can either book a FREE “Freedom to Be Yourself” Session and we can explore what issues you are facing, or you can book the "My Family, My Life Package" to get started.