Child-free Women and the Ancestral Lineage

There is a saying in indigenous spiritual traditions that believes that when we leave the spirit world to incarnate on earth, our ancestors cry at losing us and our earth family rejoices. When it is our time to return, those in spirit rejoice at seeing us again and our earth family mourns.  This gives us the sense that there is some reason or mission we are here to complete in the world, that made us leave the divine love of our spirit friends and join the earth plane of suffering.

In the past 8 years, I’ve delved deeply into the psyche of family and ancestral patterns through Family and Soul Constellations work.  The work has fascinated me because it helps clients see the blind spots and generational patterns that keep wanting to be expressed, no matter how difficult or painful it is. It brings meaning, clarity and understanding to that which is hidden or unknown. Tensions get released. Support can be brought in. Connection can happen.  We grow in our personal humility and wisdom.

The premise of Soul Constellations work is that we will often carry the burdens and challenges of our ancestors – people we may or may not have met.  There is just something in us that is drawn to the circumstances, dynamics and fates that our ancestors have experienced.

Through an embodied process, we start acknowledging their path with acceptance and even compassion. We then free ourselves from having to work out the issues that they faced and start living our lives.  It is known that our ancestors truly do want us to be happy and free, but they also want the respect and acknowledgment to be sure their lives were not lived in vain.

For child-free women by choice, we are in a unique position in the family system.  We have actively claimed that we don’t want to continue the ancestral line.  Some of us may have had abortions and miscarriages as part of our process. We may have had to make tough choices, choices in the face of family pressure. Or it may be because we have been deeply hurt by our family system that we have decided not to carry forward the dysfunction. There may be an aspect of us that rejects the people we have come from, or we want to be victorious over a family pattern, such as women forsaking their dreams and happiness for the sake of child-rearing.  Or there just may be circumstances behind you where there was war and suffering, and you innately know that it is not safe to bring a child into the world out of protecting an innocent person from that fate.  Another possibility is that we may come from strong women role models who encouraged us to stand in our freedom and truth and take a non-traditional path as a woman.

Regardless of why, we know within our gut that we want to be free, but we may end up holding ourselves back in ways we don’t even realize.  We may attract loveless relationships, or sabotage our careers.  All because we don’t want to be bigger than our parents, grandparents or great grandparents. We stay small in some way.

My aim as a Soul Constellations facilitator for Child-free Women is to support you in your becoming and to help you shed the past and what is holding you back – whether in loyalties to your parents and ancestors, or limited beliefs.  I see you as the one who is ready and able to shed the family karma in your system, bringing true freedom, peace and actualization of all of your ancestors’ hopes, dreams, struggles and victories. You have the chance to truly know the joy of living, and make a big difference in the lives of others.

I saw a quote while I was living in Oaxaca by an Aztec poet.  It said something to the effect that the one who does not have children is the one in the family who is tying up the knots of the family quilt.  I truly believe this in my heart and soul and honour those who are here to complete the work that is needed so they may return to their spiritual home when they pace with peace of heart and mind.  

Please join me at the Embrace Your Heart Healing Retreat Series for Child-free Women in Guelph to explore and free yourself from all that is keeping you contained or withheld from actualizing your life.  We will do Soul Constellations work there among other wonderful activities and techniques.