Being Committed to Yourself

The path of the child-free woman by choice is one that is unique.  It means we start our path of self-discovery  and tend to know the power of making choices. Even if the simple choice is: “I don’t want to have kids”. 

We can choose whether or not to continue to make empowering choices that lead to our self-awareness and personal freedom throughout our lifetime. We have the strength to make choices that aren’t necessarily socially conforming, but keep us true to ourselves.

Now I’m not saying that mothers don’t do this. Many of them make empowering choices in how they raise their children.  However, at least for those mothers who are active and embracing that path, they usually make a lot of self-sacrificing choices.

I have seen mothers have to wait until their middle age when the kids have grown up, to get back to themselves and what they enjoy. They have spent much of their years and energy on raising the kids and maintaining the semblance of family. 

Now it’s not to say we don’t struggle with similar issues. Our youth can make us over-extend ourselves to others out of people pleasing, and we can fall into the typical pattern most girls and women are conditioned, which is to put others’ needs before our own. 

As child-free women, we have the chance to shift this pattern that has been deeply engrained in the psyche of most women on the planet. The martyr archetype or the mothering role is deep within us, and it can lead to a whole host of problems, including health issues, feeling dissatisfied or withstanding a whole lot of abuse and neglect out of blind loyalty.

Shifting it means learning how to say ‘no’, making inner commitments to ourselves that we promise not to let go of, becoming assertive and tuning into our feelings, truth and intuition on a daily basis to gain the wisdom and insight needed for our lives. It’s having the courage to let go of relationships that are not mutually respectful and satisfying, a willingness to go it alone at times and speaking without shame or hiding about who we are and we are not.  All of this requires an ability to know our limits, desires, goals and truth, and communicating them to others with self-assuredness.

Committing to yourself can move mountains. It can bring in relationships with others who have shared interests. It can create a life for yourself that aligns with who you are and your personal rhythm. It can take you on new adventures. It can help you establish a deep peace within yourself that creates wonderful self-acceptance.

I would encourage you to commit something to yourself that is connected to you, regardless of anyone else’s opinion.  You’ve already done it with choosing to be child-free. Now let’s take it to another level!

For me, I’m committed to:

-holistic healing

-being a writer

-minimalism

Being committed to this makes sure I centre everything I do and I am about around these three things.  I have found my fiancé who is a musician (so open and supportive of the arts) and loves to live simply and renting (we won’t be buying a house or tons of property, which works well for both of us).  On the holistic healing front, well, that’s still not his thing, but it’s the one area I get to bring to the relationship.  He is learning a lot from me and it improves my ability to teach others who may not know or understand. But he’s not resistant to it and he knows it’s part of my path.

These commitments are my inner compass that keep me in my truth, regardless of others’ opinions, preferences or lifestyle choices. It makes me love who I am in entirety.

I would love to hear about your 3 commitments and how they help you live a stronger, more directed life that honours who you are. Please send me an email to: child.free.heart@gmail.com