Making a Meaningful Life as Child-free Woman

There is a traditional notion that having a baby gives a woman a feeling of fulfillment. The Christian Spiritual Tradition encourages this idea with the archetypes of the Father, Mother, Child paradigm. I have also heard men say that they gave a woman the gift of a child, as if that was his sole purpose in the relationship and she should be satisfied with that. But fulfillment is meant to make us “feel full” and not drained and depleted or obligated and guilt-ridden. 

Now, I believe it is possible for a woman to choose motherhood as her path to fulfillment as there are many strong lessons of faith, trust and growth in this way.  But I would suggest that choice is the operative word and often times women go down this road not truly knowing the realities of what is ahead for them and the lack of support in the world for them. I’ve met mothers who have told me that if they were to do it all over again, they would not have been mothers because it is too hard and they felt they sacrificed a lot of themselves for their kids.

It has taken a lot for me to shed the cultural story and trance that makes me want to believe that I will be a happy and fulfilled woman if I have a child.  Not so much that I was believing the story, but that I carried inner angst and frustration and feelings of being an outsider in my views of not wanting to have kids -- I had pressure from my sister, I saw friends go down this road and leave our friendship behind, and I have had to give up relationships with men because I knew they wanted to be a father. 

I knew within the fabric of my being that being a mother was not a path for me, and in fact I looked down on women who procreated when they hadn’t done enough self-exploration to decide if it was right for them or not, or if they were in toxic relationships.

I didn’t have other child-free women, cultural support systems or personal mentors to encourage me to live according to my heart and I had to figure it out on my own. Luckily, there was a part of me that always felt somehow rebellious, contrarian or alone in my own truth.  In my search for myself and my truth, I met writers, artists, and those who lived alternatively, along with reading feminist thinkers who showed me that there was something beautiful about choosing one’s own convictions, knowing a path different from the mainstream. 

When I stood strong and tall in my truth of not wanting to have children and be on my journey of true freedom, the next questions were, “so what do I want to do with my life? What will make me happy? What contribution would I like to make?”

These questions continue to guide me and they evolve, just as I grow and evolve in my self-awareness and feelings of satisfaction or lack thereof.  

As child-free women, I believe we have the opportunity to create deeper meaning, connection and fulfillment in our lives, because we have the freedom to choose and the opportunity to bring what is truly in our hearts to life, rather than having to focus on daily tasks of caregiving.  We can learn more and more about ourselves, and our hidden talents, which can help us make the contribution we came to this earth to make.   

Making a meaningful life comes from exploring ourselves deeply, and discovering what it is we truly care about in ourselves and the world around us. It could be friendships, art, helping at-risk youth, volunteering in the community, creating a home that is beautiful, self-care, meditation, yoga, etc.  The truth is that creating a meaningful life is an ongoing job, listening deeply to what wants to be manifested at that time in a person’s life.  It can be something small like a journalling project, or something large like a non-profit organization.  

Every project I initiate, I try to make it something I care about.  Here are a few ways that I have been able to make a more meaningful life: 

• I learned Spanish because my niece was born and her dad is from a Latin American background.  I wanted her to know there was someone in the family who was willing to embrace her other cultural background.   
• While I was in Mexico, I met a woman who was learning English as a Second Language through braille.  I was amazed by her spirit and nature and knew I had to write about her so others discovered her intuitive strengths and beauty of her soul. So I wrote a children’s book called The Stellar Queen of Oaxaca.   
• I had profound psychic insights, dreams and near death experiences, so I went on the path of honing my abilities and found my place at the Spiritual Church 
• I created a business called Blossoming Heart Divine Arts as a psychic/medium, which offered me deep insight and wisdom on this journey of life and love   
• I am now embracing the path of the Child-free Woman and offering programs, services and retreats to them because I genuinely feel connected and inspired by this community.  

With my journey, training and experiences, I feel I can offer understandings and true guidance if you are a child-free woman who wants to have more meaning and fulfillment in your life. 

I offer an online 5-week SharingCircle Series on “Making a More Meaningful Life” and a Persephone’s Heart: Making a Meaningful Life Coaching Package.  

If any of this interests you, I would encourage you to book a FREE Sharing Our Hearts Session so we can chat and see if this is a right fit for you.  

I would love to see you feel fulfilled and satisfied in your life. Cause a happy woman can truly change the world.